A Tex-Mex-Southwestern-Pacific Rim-Indian-Californian-Mediterranean dish probably
served in that restaurant with the fuchsia façade and industrial decor in that urban
non-breeding singles neighborhood. Serve with Zima or white zinfandel.
1 cup chutney
1 bunch cilantro, chopped
2 T curry powder
1 T chopped ginger
1 Habanero chile
2 six-packs Lone Star Beer (or one 12-pack)
Salt and pepper
½ Texas roadkill armadillo, cleaned*
Combine orange and mango. Stir in chutney. Strain through a fine sieve. Remove mango and save for garnish. Cook, stirring slowly, in a saucepan. Add lime juice, cilantro, curry powder and ginger. Peel chile and remove seeds. Discard chile and add peel and seeds to salsa. Drink five beers. Add sixth beer to salsa. Season with salt and pepper. Taste, correct seasoning, and simmer for one half hour. Pour half of salsa over armadillo and marinate in a tightly sealed container in refrigerator. Remove from refrigerator the next day. *Do not open container indoors or with other persons present.* Drink second six-pack. Pour gasoline over pile of mesquite wood in fireproof container. Light fire and grill armadillo over medium flame, basting with marinade. Garnish with mango pieces and remaining half of salsa and serve.
*If not found by scavenging locally, can be purchased at specialty stores or organic food markets.